Saturday, October 04, 2003
This is one of the times when i feel enlightened, which happens a lot, especially every saturday night after service... I really love Church of Singapore, the one i m currently going to... Its a relli beautiful place, they haf a nice playground and their worship rocks n their sermons relli teach u something... My thinking n views haf been molded alot and i haf matured quite a lot... Suddenly, i feel weary of socialising wif ppl, especially non-christians... i no longer haf anything to add to their conversations, for all they talk about r influences of the world, like games and sex n all the crap tat comes out of their mouth... I feel tired of trying to blend in, of saying vulgarities or doing crude stuff just so they may like me... i hate being the pussy, and being known as the pussy... I relli wonder wat i've done to earn such a nickname... today they talked abt homosexuality... this is an excellent example of my thinking being molded... I used to tink tat i could accept gays n lesbians; they're not doing anything to anybody except themselves and i thot it was ok as long as they were happy. but today, i learnt tat homosexuality is not something some1 is born wif, but actually a pyschological disorder ppl get because of their environment; the 'nuture' factor. they just wanna be special but to me they r seriously mental... i've also decided to not go into any relationship until at least i get out of the army... and i will make tat bgr my last one of my love live. i also dun care abt wat my non-christian frens tink of me or whether they despise me, which even my best frens do(shalln't mention who as most of them do)... well, adios, evil world... i m now a different person...
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