Journal of James's Journey with Jesus

I decided to write after having finished my exam on a module about leadership, watching a video about eating disorders and eating lunch with newfound joy in my heart. All went well in the examination hall, far better than what I expected from a few hours worth of memorising notes. It was during these few hours that I realised that the notes actually contained helpful and true things about leadership that would have been encapsulated in my mind had I not been taking power naps during lectures.

Anyway, I am glad to announce that my parents are still together after repeated attempts at divorce. The strange thing is that they decided not to commence after they had already went through with the divorce, leaving only the custody, care and control issues unsettled. Well, I am not surprised as oddity runs in the family. There’s only One person to thank: God. He used my Christian uncles and aunties from my mom’s side to turn her away from divorce.

The next amazing thing is that I found myself living in a rented bungalow of sorts near Kranji (I’m not really sure what to call it because my dad says the definition of a bungalow is a house that stands alone on a plot of land). We live with neighbours side by side. Maybe it’s called one of those semi-detached thingies or some terrace. My dad rented it from his friend for $1000 a month, which is a good deal. He had planned to move into it with my sister, my maid, my grandmother and me after the divorce. Now all of us, including my mom, live there.

I used to think quiet places were boring but now I have a whole new different view.

My dog is now free to bark her head off because the neighbours’ dogs are doing the same whenever anyone passes by their front gate. I am free to play my guitar whenever I want, however loud I want it. My dad is happy planting all sorts of greens. My sister plays badminton every night with my maid with the gate as the net. My mom is admiring the blue sky and greenery for the first time. At night, the house is shrouded in pitch darkness, providing an excellent environment to sleep in. Everyone seems happy. I feel like I’m back living in Pulau Ubin, except with no mosquitoes and wild boars, and I’m loving it.

It’s an adventure everyday. One day, I was walking home when I saw a snake on the road that was squashed to death by car tyres. I am learning to skate now and the slopes there are great training grounds. I met my primary school teacher that I was so fond of because of all the true stories she told about Banana Man and China Man, her two sons, to make primary school bearable.

I just want to thank everyone who prayed for me, whether it was for the divorce or the recent incident, especially Pastor Daniel, Wan Ping and Silvestre who have given me a second chance. Thanks, Kenni, for knowing yet loving such a huge disappointment. I want to apologise for the burdens I’ve laid on Wan Xin, Xuan Wen and the Knights. Thanks, Jie Ming, for being sensitive and comforting me even though you had not the slightest idea what happened. For all those who know what I’m talking about, you don’t have to act like you don’t. I am not ashamed to tell and live the truth to those I love, except specific details of the truth that I cannot tell which stumble people.

I want to thank God, Whose grace is sufficient and strength is perfected in my weaknesses. I want to praise God for His faithfulness, who leads me by still waters into mercy. He does not despise my broken heart and has humbled me that I may exalt Him. Praise be to God, who will not relent from delivering me from such a great death. The devil had his turn. Now it's my turn to hurt his ego by impacting the lives of many more people God brings to me. Not by might, not by power, but by God's Spirit.

Psalms 18:
31 For who is God, except the LORD?
And who is a Rock, except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.
34 He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.