2005 had been a great year although it was also the most difficult year of my christian walk so far. I see it as my term of spiritual puberty, where I grow up from being a babe in my understanding about God.
I still remember the Asia Oceania Leadership Conference held many months ago. Though I only attended the last night’s sermon, it was an awesome time when I and many others felt God’s strong presence and conviction upon us.
This was also the first time God spoke to me about my calling. I know for sure it was God because I am rarely sure God says anything. John 10:27 says,
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
I have come to learnt that when God needs or wants to speak, He definitely will make His small, still voice loud and clear.
It was during the altar call when I was worshipping God and crying out to Him when He told me I would be able to love people without them loving me back. To me, that is the greatest gift and calling anyone ever can have.
Born almost devoid of love and being deeply selfish, I am glad God has called me to show others the true extent of love, Christ’s way.
Another Bible verse tells us that many are called, few are chosen. What this simply means is that God calls all of us to help but only those who volunteers are chosen.
As Christians, we should not be worrying about having no personal callings because we all have general callings that we should fulfill. The commandment to love, the commission to share the gospel and our chosen identity as ambassadors of Christ in our everyday life are our common but precious heritage.
Following my fall in leadership, I had to battle three months of mental depression as condemning thoughts recurred all day. It was quite a one-sided battle, where Satan seemed to win all the time. I felt so left out in cellgroup but I kept coming, even when I felt that Christ was no longer part of me.
But from all of that, I understood the backslider’s broken heart and how hard Satan tries to pull them down. I now knew how hard it was for Wen Jun and Kenneth to come week after week.
We should all learn to be gentle towards people who seem to be down, showing them the concern they need instead of demanding that they meet our concerns. I used to try to make people who were not coming regularly commit themselves, sometimes being too harsh and legalistic.
Galatians 6:1 says,
Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
It is funny how this verse really applies to me. Spiritual pride will yield you humble pie.
For people who are struggling, we should encourage them with Bible verses, pray for them to hear from God and support them in times of emotional need. Let’s stop telling them their mistakes. They already know them. Let them choose whether they want to make the right choice. Pray for God to speak and assure them that they are loved by Him just as they are.
One word from God is better than a thousand words from men. Do not impose your set of warnings from the Bible to scare them into the arms of Christ. It does not happen that way. They come back because they realize God loves them like the prodigal son.
I found encouragement in the cards that people sent me though they were dated so long ago. The sincere ones, especially, lifted my spirits up when I felt like giving up the most. The power of words to give life or death was so evident. Just two lines of sincerity can change a man’s path from death to life.
It’s always too early to give up because it’s always darkest before dawn. I have learnt one tactic to see through the devil’s lies. In times of trials, give thanks and praise God. We always feel so far away from God during these times because God inhabits the praises of the saints, not our childish complaints and doubts.
There are always unseen blessings in our life that we are not sensitive to. But God reminds us that what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. Your troubles on this earth can never last as long as eternity. They fade away even before you die.
There is no “always, never or forever” in this world’s dictionary. Sometimes we let our minds believe that we will always be defeated, never victorious and forever weak.
The only Person who will always be with you, never forsake you and remain with you forever is Jesus. When you look to Him in prayer, worship and the Word, the reality of His love will make all your doubts fade away.
Praise and thanksgiving, even in difficult times, are the keys to revealing God’s work in your life.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says,
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
The mission trip was awesome. Read about it in my previous entry.
After the mission trip, I went to my mom’s church camp in Malaysia. It was pretty good as I heard this anointed speaker on healing and deliverance.
After that, it was time for my school’s Talent Time. I decided to sign up suddenly without even thinking, with the hope of the Holy Spirit filling the place as I worshipped. God really anointed me as I did not feel nervous about doing it at all. The lesson during the mission trip about how giving all the glory to God will put all the pressure to perform on Him was etched in my mind.
I did not get into the finals for my group’s performance, during which we performed my own song. However, people remember my song and are quite impressed that it was a Christian song. I bet many people still think that Christians are singing ‘Amazing Grace’ and do boring things in church.
Let me just digress for one moment and say that Christians are not narrow-minded, simple, boring and plainly existing. We are perceived as such because we have found something so precious, true and worthwhile to occupy our entire lives. We are devoted to that One truth, that One way and that One life. That is a thought to think about.
I did get into the solo finals with ‘Marvelous Light’ and I sang ‘Evermore’ at the finals. I want to thank Xin Long the dude, Nissi One’s two Wan Lins and Adeline for being there. It really meant a lot to me. I did not win anything though I am sure I made an impression. We should be more daring to showcase the Christians’ way of living in our musical tastes and more.
Pastor Song preached during SNL the week the second batch of mission trippers were away. It really impacted me a lot as I heard from the funny guru about prayer. His testimonies about ordinary people in the hands of an extraordinary God really inspired faith in me.
He shared about how God told him that He answered all his prayers, just like how He answers all of ours too. I also learnt that it is an insult to God if you ask Him for something and not believe that you will get it. It is then a question of God’s honesty because He promised us so many times in the Bible that “there is free lunch in God’s Kingdom but you have to pray for it.”
God’s Word for me was “Don’t pray another prayer without asking Me how to pray. What the Father does, the Son did.”
Youth Impact camp was impactful though I was not used to Pastor Dave’s preaching style. But from him I learnt that our blessings in God are never subtracted or divided, only added and multiplied. His first sermon talked about how God loves us though we are imperfect.
His testimony about showing the grace and love of Jesus to the gangsters who stirred up trouble in his church for no reason set an excellent example for me. I always wondered which way I should go if some gangsters bully Youth Impact members.
The last night was absolutely fantabulous, especially during the High Praise. It was a breakthrough for me as God added on to me new dance moves. There is this expression of our love for God that pleases Him when we are free, naked and unashamed, in reverent and respectful adoration. King David was not being disrespectful to God, he was laying down his crown in reverence of Christ.
Last Saturday, during the altar call, I felt this strong presence of God upon me though I was feeling really down during the sermon. I felt God telling me that I am going to be a worship leader soon. I seriously find it hard to believe. But we shall know if it was God who spoke if I miraculously end up on stage.
This is really the breakthrough year as Pastor Evann Walker prophesied last year during Christmas. Though I fell, I have seen God’s work in my life. Until you sin and lose all the blessings and giftings in your life, you will never know why we should thank God constantly.
This is not encouragement for you to sin though. Just take my word for it. But as long as you persist in loving God, He will restore you as he restored the prodigal son.
I am 19 already and I feel so weird. 19 seems like an age where people are really mature. A time when people are on the springboard of opportunities in their lives.
I will be going for attachment after 6 more months or less. I really want to be a copywriter, where I can play with words and come up with puns for a living. I am a punny guy; put me in my element.
Graduation comes one year later and national service follows. I don't think I am physically strong enough yet.
I almost worry about what I will do after that. I simply have had enough of studying. I want to go out and do something practical. At the same time, there is a pressure to go for further studies to get my dream job. I guess these are the complications in life. Welcome to adulthood!
May God establish us in His purposes for us that in every good work we will abound!
These are my latest jokes:
1. Where can you find corn that tastes funny growing?
Ans: The Silicon (Silly Corn) Valley
2. Which part our body doesn’t have it’s own shadow?
Ans: The eye (That’s why they put on eyeshadow)
3. Which nationality is the best at programming online software?
Ans: The Java-nese
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