These few days have been an emotional mess for me. Upon learning about Ru Xiang's demise at 7 on Friday morning, I have been too shocked to be sad. Some part of me does not want to believe that she is not coming back until Jesus does.
During her wake on Saturday and cremation on Sunday, I could not find the tears to cry. It was so sudden and I had been expecting her recovery. I have been unable to sleep well lately as I think about her on my bed.
Although I managed to see her on Thursday night when her situation was critical, I am regretful that I had not visited her as much as I could have when she was battling cancer. Never take the relationships you have with others for granted.
I want to dedicate this as a memory to Ru Xiang.
We evangelised to Ru Xiang during one of our evangelistic outreaches to Kranji Secondary School. Nissi 3 had just started for a few months and we gained many people from Kranji Secondary School from that evangelism like Priscilla.
Ru Xiang and her classmate Hui Ling came to cell group and service a few times but they were unconvinced. I still remember the time when Wee Huat and I shared with both of them and challenged them to stay on for a few more weeks to experience who God is.
Her classmate Hui Ling was a Buddhist and was not interested at all in Jesus. Both of them said our cellgroup was not warm and fun enough. They were good friends but Ru Xiang made a choice to stick with us. She came irregularly and only for cell group as her parents objected to her coming for service.
People came and people went from Nissi 3. But a few months later, Ru Xiang began to join us more often for cell group and even service and we were able to disciple her more. Her attitude towards us became more friendly. She was earmarked to be a potential leader.
The next thing we knew, she had some pain in her leg and went for a check-up. She was diagnosed with cancer in her right hip bone. She went through chemotherapy. We visited her as a cellgroup and individually.
Through all these, she was cheerful and her cheeks glowed with the rosy pink tint of health. Among all the patients, she looked most healthy and cheerful.
I still remember the times when I would buy Yakult for her(she liked Yakult), play games like Boggle and just talk to her. She confided her fears to me; how the patients in the beds beside her were dying on consecutive days and how sometimes she was oppressed by spirits. I would encourage her with testimonies and Bible verses.
We talked about physiotherapy and her hair loss. I would sometimes wheel her around and made siren sounds in the hospital when I visited. Or I would teach her how to play the guitar and watch interesting DVDs from the SP Library with her when she was at home.
She would spur me on to evangelise to the patients beside her. Once, I actually plucked up courage because of her to share with a middle-aged couple who received Jesus and probably went to Lighthouse Church.
She got to know a girl named Stellar who was older than her by a year. This girl was suffering a similar condition to hers and was on the bed beside hers. Ru Xiang and I talked about evangelising to her and she actually plucked up courage to ask for her number.
When Ru Xiang had gone through chemotheraphy and the operation, she actually went to Stellar's house and shared the gospel to a receptive Stellar, who received Jesus.
Ru Xiang was a blessing to her older brother Mun Chung. Because he came to visit her one day, Silvestre managed to share with him and he received Christ. Ru Xiang came back to cell group and service though it was sometimes inconvenient and tiring to do so.
Ru Xiang came back a changed girl. The parental objections were dissolved and her dad even drove her and Mun Chung to and from church every Saturday. Her faith and her relationship with the cellgroup members had grown so much stronger.
She went back to school after missing half a year of it and had very good results. Teachers and classmates were astonished at her improvement. She even managed to share with one of her classmates.
Even as news of the remission of the cancer hit her, she still hung on to her faith. She was fearful and discouraged at times; but she never stopped believing. She brought her younger brother, Mun Ho, to church and was trying to get her other brother, Mun Chong, to come too.
I will always remember her for her undying faith despite overwhelming circumstances. She was only 15 and yet she was a giant. She was cheerful and encouraging though she had every reason not to be.
I dedicate Hebrews 11:13 to Ru Xiang for believing that God can heal, even when He chooses not to. She had lung, spine and hip bone cancer at the same time.
These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
I will never forget how tired she was on so many occasions, after chemotherapy. I will never forget how she last looked as she was losing consciousness. I will never forget her cheerful voice and playful laugh.
She said something which I still remember today. There was once when she came to cellgroup and service and I did not even say hello as she was surrounded by other members. She came up to me later and asked me why I didn't say hello.
I had no excuse to give. I have no excuse either for not visiting her as often as I had in the past. I had taken her for granted and I regret that I had done so.
I have no idea why God chose to take her away at such a tender age. But I am consoled by the fact that she is in Heaven and would not be suffering any more pain. I have been blessed by her and am grateful that she has been a blessing to many others.
A promise to Ru Xiang: The next time we meet, I won't forget to say hello.
A promise from God: God is faithful to the faithless. As our doubts get big, God will get bigger. Leave the doubts to God and believe in the truth, which is the Word of God. He will answer every question in His appointed time. As for us, we should remember that though death comes to all men, it has lost its sting against us. Death is the beginning of Heaven and other good things to come. It is the start of eternity with Jesus.
I am sure Ru Xiang is well pleased just as Paul said he would be in 2 Corinthians 5:1-8.
For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven,
if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked.
For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life.
Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord.
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.
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