Recently, I have been very saddened by the falling away of many young regular members and one old regular member in our cellgroup.
In fact, the love of so many has turned cold that the harvest God brought to the Knights months ago seems like the gleaning of a few grapes from the ground. Only a faithful few remain.
This time, the spiritual attacks utterly shocked me as those who fell had been doing well and had immense potential for God to use them. They just suddenly decided not to come, and all at the same time too.
I realize now that there are no spiritually strong young Christians. All of them need guidance, follow up and feeding.
This really makes me believe how good the Experiencing God program is and how Satan is trying to stop us from faithfully finishing it and experiencing God in the process.
These people encountered God and one even had a calling prophesied over her. And most of us, the old regulars, do not even have a clear calling yet.
Yet, these young ones gave up running the race though they knew they would make it to the finish line with glory. What does God have to do to motivate them to hang on? Why did they believe in lies from the evil one?
And not one falls without me feeling like I have fallen too, because I know what it’s like to leave the Lord and try to live life on your own, which is really scary and depressing.
Though I have never stopped attending church, I have experienced the separation from God loads of times due to sin. The enemy puts lies that seemed so believable in my mind so many times. But I hung on, knowing whom I believed is faithful and true, and received His promises.
Did they feel left out because they felt the cellgroup didn't care about them? It's more like they were too insecure and self-seeking, without initiative to love and communicate with others. They do not realise the effort, time and love their cellgroup mates put in, not regarding their own self.
My heart is so torn and afflicted because I've seen so many go astray in these 3+ years of my faith and my heart is still with many of those who have strayed. Do they know that they mean so much to us? Or how we hurt when they go?
Though 99 percent of the sheep are still with me, sometimes I feel like 99 percent of the sheep have gone astray and only 1 percent has stayed. I still remember Sharin deeply, being stuck in time over how we lost such a one.
I feel so helpless and sad because there are times when I have tried my best to convince them and my best was not enough. The final decision lies in the hearts of the straying ones. And the few that we managed to salvage still strayed after a while.
I really want to ask these people the following questions. What did they come for and who did they believe? Was it for friendship, fun or attraction?
Did they believe in human wisdom or were they moved by human persuasion? Did they meet God? And if they did, how did they find the courage to leave?
Or did they doubt God because of the periods of spiritual drought and famine they experienced? Do they not understand that every famine and drought brings a hunger and thirst to the people, for their good?
God allows us to hunger and thirst because it helps us to progress further in our walk with Him. It develops passion and perseverance in times of uncertainty. It is during these times of uncertainty of ever finding spiritual food and drink that our survival instincts kick in and we search desperately for them.
A deep hunger and thirst for God is born, refusing to be satisfied by the world's shallowness or sin's deceitfulness. I have grown so much more in my dry seasons than my wet seasons, though I never understood and still do not understand how it happened.
Let me tell you a spiritual truth, that the Lord will not feed those who do not hunger or fill those who lack a thirst. Our God is not an aggressive maniac who stuffs food and pumps water into the mouths of those who do not want them.
Matthew 7:7-8 says,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
The above principle applies, whether it's about the gift of tongues or any gift of blessing or growth. My God is powerful, but not forceful. Those who follow Him have to decide what they really want and ask for it.
They had better be hungry or they will miss out totally on the good things God had planned for and wanted to give to them.
Why did God allow Israel to experience 400 years of silence before Jesus came? Because their hearts were hardened and complacent. They were sinful and so dull of hearing God's words that God sent a famine of His words for 400 years.
God wanted their hearts to be ready and hungry by the time Jesus came, that His words would bear great fruit in their lives. He wanted them to be so desperate and passionate that they would abandon their pride and sinfulness and perk up their ears.
1 Chronicles 7:13-15 confirms my theory.
When I shut up heaven and there is no rain, or command the locusts to devour the land, or send pestilence among My people,
if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place.
Hunger and thirst is what we must not lose but we lose it often when we feel complacent or when we sin. The Spirit's thirst quenched by sin and disobedience and our spirit's appetite lost to pride and indifference.
Though it is good to be satisfied in God, it is better to be unsatisfied in the little we have of and from Him. God sends famines and droughts to remind us that we have been proud and indifferent and to test us if we'll still follow Him after some testing.
From 1 Chronicles 7:13-15, you realise that God promises to heal our land and send rain upon the hardened grounds of our hearts if we just humble ourselves and stop sinning. Will you wait for the rain? Or will you move somewhere else, to another church, because it's not been raining much?
You could do that and still experience the definite spiritual drought and famine God sends on every church and believer. The term 'natural disaster' refers to bad weather and other environmental conditions that God allowed to happen. Likewise, every Christian will have a natural disaster in his/her life at more than one point of their life.
The only solution is to wait and persevere, trusting the Lord that He knows what He's doing and is leading you into a deeper relationship with Him. That's basic humility; trusting in the counsel of One greater than you.
It's funny, because in real life we don't move to another country because of the change of seasons or the lack of rain. We just wait it out. We don't spend our day complaining and thinking about the weather condition. We all know it's pointless and a waste of time to do that.
In the same way, Christians must learn to take it in their stride that God made 4 seasons for a year to show 4 different wonders every year. If we have not gone through winter in our hearts, we would not understand the condition of the hearts of backsliders and the unreached. To minister to them effectively, we must console them with the consolation we have been given by the Lord.
There is no favourable or unfavourable climate, only our softened or hardened hearts. And God is able and will soften every hardened heart if we stay still and let Him do heart surgery on us. We must learn to view things the way God views them, and adjust accordingly.
Talking about testing, do you know that Satan is continually accusing us and testing our faithfulness to God? He is arrogantly challenging the Lord, telling Him that we do not really love Him; we are just in it for the blessings.
Job 1:6-12 confirms this.
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came among them.
And the LORD said to Satan, “From where do you come?”
So Satan answered the LORD and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it.”
Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?”
So Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing?
Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land.
But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!”
And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person.”
During this time, God requires that your love for Him be expressed in action. He is not asking for you to die for Him to prove your love. Though He tests you, there is still a certain level of protection He has given you. He will allow Satan to touch and mess around with everything you have, but not you.
Matthew 13:3-8 shows the four different heart conditions and responses towards the Lord.
Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a Sower went out to sow.
And as He sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them.
Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth.
But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away.
And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them.
But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.
Matthew 13:19-23 explains to us the meaning of this parable.
When anyone hears the Word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside.
But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;
yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles.
Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful.
But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”
Because faith without deeds is dead, the plant that sprang up on rocky soil and had no root died too. So did the plant choked by the thorns because he loved the world more than he loved God. And also the seed on the wayside devoured by the Devil and his lies.
They died as soon as testing came because they had no foundation. They fed on hyper-spirituality and had no sense of what true spirituality was. They loved encounters with God but did not delve deep into His Word and take root.
Matthew 7:24-27 talked about these people and their ruin.
“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:
and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
“But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand:
and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”
They had no foundation to protect them from the storm. All church ever was to people with these heart conditions was a hyper spiritual or exciting time of fellowship, fun and attraction.
God was neither real to them nor did He matter. Their fall is certain because they think that God will never allow them to experience bad things. They do not believe that God can turn what is bad for good.
This test requires a correct understanding of who God is and how He works, as you can see from the Parable of the Sower. Those who understood these spiritual truths bore fruit up to a hundredfold, though the devil was still prowling around and worldly temptations existed.
They were not hyper-spiritual, thinking God to be an ATM for all their demands or church-hopping in vain to experience the emotional rush of anointed church services. These people really trusted God as Lord of their lives.
I was once tested and passing this test came down to what I believed, not just what I knew about God. “Is He faithful, is He real, is He good?” I was questioned. “Do I really love Him, will I wait and do I believe?”
With every decision, we either prove Satan wrong or disappoint the Lord. And realize that I didn’t say that we would prove God wrong, because God is never wrong. Even if you do not honour the Lord, there will be others who are faithful to His calling.
Yet, I see so many people with doubt and not a mustard seed of faith. Sometimes I wonder, “Have they truly met the Lord, been touched by Him so much that they know He's real?
Why then do they reject the truth? Every single time that I felt like backsliding, the thing that holds me back is the fact that I know the truth. I called myself a liar and God true, submitting to His Word.
If I reject the truth I know from the bottom of my guts, I'm telling the world Jesus is not real, though He is. I have made myself a liar, hypocrite and delusional fool.
I know whom I have believed. He's more than just a man who lived and died 2000 years ago. I know that just as He healed the blind, He would heal my spiritual blindness if I am willing. By faith, I will be made well.
I know whom I have believed. He's not just any man; He is God in the flesh. He has authority to forgive and power to cause those crippled by sin to walk again. By faith , I will be made well.
Lastly, I have a word of encouragement for those who are feeling a tad discouraged like me.
Isaiah 54:16-17 says,
“ Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the LORD.
Those who have felt like falling but stayed on should know that God is faithful and will uphold you even when you are weak. No weapon formed against you shall prosper and you do not need righteousness of your own to survive this trial.
Matthew 16:18-19 says,
And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.
And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
We may look at the fruit that was stolen by the devil and be discouraged from sowing any more seeds into the hearts of men. But this verse clearly tells us that the gates of hell shall not prevail against the church's crusade for souls. We will continue to break open Hell's rusty gates, bind the blinding demons and bring souls out of Hell and into Heaven.
2 Corinthians 5:20 says,
Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.
As for those who have fallen, do all you should to bring them back. Try to understand them, persuade them and plead with them.
But after you have done all that you possibly should, to no avail, stop focusing on them because they are not worthy of being called sons and daughters of God. I know this sounds harsh but we are saved by faith, not sight. These people are already numb and blind to the truth.
Why should you preach again to those who have known the truth but rejected it when there are countless others who have not known the truth or been given a chance to accept it? If it is the truth and the Son who sets people free, how can these backsliders be saved if they have rejected both in their hearts?
What is more true than truth or more true than the Son? With what truer truth can you use to convince them?
They have rebelliously and knowingly rejected the truth; like some of the apostates Paul talked about in his epistles, deserving to be delivered to Satan for the affliction that might save their souls when they realize how good is the God whom they have left to serve the cruel slavemaster by the name of Satan.
John 6:39 says,
This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day.
You will never know the mysterious workings of our Lord. He knows who is His and who is not His. Those who belong to Him, though drawn astray, will be eternally drawn back by Him who is faithful and true.
Luke 10:2a says,
Then He said to them, “The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few.
So try your best to restore the erring one and if they do not heed you, attend to the ministry of sharing Christ with those who deserve to hear the Good News; who do not have dull ears of hearing and dull hearts of understanding.
Romans 11:2-5 reads,
God has not cast away His people whom He foreknew. Or do you not know what the Scripture says of Elijah, how he pleads with God against Israel, saying,
“LORD, they have killed Your prophets and torn down Your altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life”?
But what does the divine response say to him? “I have reserved for Myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.”
Even so then, at this present time there is a remnant according to the election of grace.
Do not be discouraged or lose your zeal for the Lord's house. Every time you feel alone running this race, know that there will be others on the way that will spur you on towards love and good deeds.
Lastly, a poem I wrote with a weird format for those who have strayed.
"Though There Be No Tears in Heaven"
Friend, do you know I cried
As though you had died
The day you left the Lord
Though there be no tears in Heaven
And Paradise is like a haven
Secretly, I will weep for you
Why did you leave
Conceding in disbelief
When all you had to do was wait
It's not hard to stand
You only have to understand
Why disasters are deemed natural
Thirsty, the ground is during droughts
For the much-awaited rainy bouts
Just as famine brings hunger
With no dry wood, there would be no fire
Without dry hearts, there is no desire
To seek the Lord with a crackling of passion
Return to the Lord
He is not bored
Of forgiving and forgetting
Only do not bow
Before Satan now
It won't be him we call Saviour
After all I've said
The effort I've made
The choice lies with you
My friend, your one last chance
For you to dance
On streets made of gold
Though there be tears in Heaven
And in the Book of Life, names not engraven
I hope I won't be weeping for you
- James Lin Yuxi -
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