Journal of James's Journey with Jesus

The Land of Tai-Taiwan

Well, I went on an unforgettable ORD celebration trip to Taiwan with 6 of my Batch 14 mates. We left on 18th June and were supposed to return to Singapore on the 23rd. I will explain why I used the word 'supposed' shortly.

I would have never thought of going to Taiwan by myself. I'm more of a sucker for beach, water sports and theme park holidays. I just think the money would be better spent at Pulau Redang, Batam or Hong Kong.

Also, the thought of having to communicate mainly in Chinese horrified me. Do you know I can't scan through a Chinese newspaper like I do for an English one? When I look at the words from a macro view, all I see is squares of unknown script like those of a corrupted Word file. I would have to decipher a sentence word by word and even then I might not understand what the sentence means.

But anyway, I was pretty excited to go after we got a great 2-way Jetstar air ticket deal at $228. I had heard of the great food, shopping, scenery and the pretty girls. Everyone who had gone to Taiwan during their Army training always had good things to say about it. Betel nut girls, crazy clubbing scene, cheap shirts, amazing bubble tea and gigantic chicken cutlets.

Mr Poh Yong Ren (a.k.a Lei Peng No. 2 and UOB Heir) was sweet enough to come send us off at Changi Airport.

After a gruelling 5-hour flight with no entertainment facilities whatsoever, we reached Taipei Airport and headed down by bus to a dormitory room we rented. It was a one-room flat with an attached bathroom and 3 double decker beds. One of my friends had to sleep on an extra bed on the floor and the currents from the airconditioner were channelled from the bathroom to the bedroom. But it wasn't that bad as we were used to sleeping in cramped and ridiculous conditions anyway.

We went down to explore the underground city tunnels linking their MRT stations together. They look like Citylink but are horrendously long, more unnavigable than a forest and really spooky. The best part is when you realise you've walked like a mile underground but only crossed 3 streets. And never use the tunnels after midnight; they are a perfect filming scene for the Resident Evil series.

But then again, I would rather use the underpass than try to beat the traffic above. The roads in Taipei are amazingly narrow(2 lanes) for the immense traffic they handle. You wait a long time for the pedestrian light to blink and then you are entitled to cross the road at your own pace within 60 seconds.

On the burning asphalt, scooters run amok as kings of the road. They overrun and overwhelm cars by numbers and maneuverability. At any one traffic junction, you can easily find more than 50 scooters stopping on the two lanes when the traffic light is red.

I doubt half of them even have driver's licenses to begin with. If they did a hit-and-run, the traffic police would never figure out or be able to pursue the Vesparian who did it. They park and travel anywhere they want, even on the pedestrian streets of the night markets. I think they've learnt the lesson of taking the road less travelled very well.

Our first stop was Yehliu Geopark where we feasted our eyes on rock formations. It was pretty cool; I even saw deep and long grooves in the ground that indicated past tectonic activity. Some of us spent time posing with the rocks but I was more interested in getting some shade from the sweltering heat.

Our next stop was the coastal regions of Nanya, beside gorgeous mountains like those in rural Thailand. We went to pose for the Nanya Rock Formations, which resemble clay sculptures. By this time, you should have realised we sort of have some fetish for rocks. Well, thank my friend Zhuo Xin Yong who planned the itinerary, who also happen to have a fanatical love of nature photography. That's him in the first picture.

We had quite an adventure there. We encountered a brown snake(probably a python) when we were traversing a stream. As it was blocking our way back to safety. I was about to kill it with a huge rock when my not-too-brave friends pleaded with me to stop. Come on, what's a mere snake to Pulau Ubin boy?

Look at the picture below and spot the little serpent ambushing us.

Next up was the Yin Yang sea, which wasn't much of a big deal. It was next to a mining town and its past activities had caused the sea to be polluted(or beautified as some people put it) with a golden brown tinge. I've seen something like this for the past 1.5 years thanks to my service in the Navy. Sand dredgers make the sea appear like that after they are done with digging up sand from the sea bottom. And I don't really care if it's a natural phenomenon.

We went to Jiu Fen, which is a coastal town with many beautiful mountains. Jiu Fen Old Street is lined with shops hawking their wares and sweet treats. It's all very pretty and is a perfect place for filming romantic scenes.

And of course, we had to try stinky tofu. Actually, it didn't really smell bad until it was close up to my nose. It had such rich flavour that enduring the odour was well worth it. But of course, I could not wolf down all of it on my own. I think I might puke first from the smell. Luckily, I had my good friend Emil Chew to do the rest of the chewing.

We got to see this cute dog that looked like a male lion cub going through puberty. Taiwanese like to do cute things to their dogs. But beware of it's true form. When it BANKAIs, it becomes Lionel the Demon Dog from Hell.

But soon, the long flight of stairs took all our breath and vitality away. And we decided to retire early in preparation for the next day.

We woke up to a refreshing soak in the hot springs of New Beitou. We climbed up to the highest point of the hill to Spring City Resort. For SGD 40, you could soak and relax in the sulphuric spring waters for as long as you want.

The sulphur smells like a man's body odour but I kind of dig it. The water was really hot and you had to slowly immerse your body in it. The hottest one measured a steamy 42 degrees celsius. It felt like I was being boiled and my essence slowly drained out of me. I bet my essence tastes like Bak Kut Teh. After all, that's what you get when you put a bag of bones in hot soup.

But anyway, it was interesting as they had a cold spring as well. Taiwanese usually go for cold springs at this time of year. The cold spring felt ice cold but it was a refreshing kind of chill whereby you do not shiver or get a cold from soaking in it for long periods. They also had these marble tiles that were heated by hot stones underneath. I felt like a teppanyaki meal singing "Chestnuts on an Open Fire" but it felt really good after my body adjusted to the heat.

Next up, we visited the bustling shopping malls of Ximending where Taiwanese youths like to frequent. Clothes are pretty expensive there but they do have some nice stuff. That's how I spent roughly SGD 40 each for 2 vests, 1 long sleeved shirt and 1 short sleeved shirt. I almost contemplated buying this $100 vest and $120 shoes that looked so Ben Sherman.

Amazing graffiti in one of the alleys in Ximending.

At night, Becky met us for the first time in Taiwan and treated us to delicious servings of ice shavings in Shih Lin. We also bought the famous gigantic chicken cutlet, which was a big enough portion for all six of us to have a few nibbles. It was pretty fruitful as I got to meet Becky after 5 long months.

The next day, Becky met up with us again on our way to Taipei 101, currently the world's tallest building. Did you know that half of the world's top 10 highest buildings are in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan?

Taipei 101 also has the world's fastest elevator, which travelled an upward distance of 1010m/min. We took the lift from the 5th floor and reached the 88th floor in a short span of 37 seconds. Our ears were popping from the sudden change in air pressure.

But besides that, there was nothing really spectacular. The scenery from the top looked the same from different parts of the tower. To me, they resembled shipping containers heaped on top of one another.

And this is the golden ball they are all so crazy about. The stabilizing device to keep the building from swaying too much due to the torrential winds. You can see how interested we were by our expressions. But I got to admit that Taipei 101 looks pretty cool at night.

On the way home, we met with some trouble. Trouble in the form of a T-700 on standby mode in an underground mall.

I heard familiar words ("You are the resistance") ringing in my mind as I attempted to show this bot that human bone is harder than any alloyminium it was made of.

But it must know some wicked kung fu because I was down on my buttocks before I knew it. Maybe I should have let John Connor do his own dirty job.

The next day, we went to Leefoo Village's renowned theme park. We had gotten free tickets from Taiwan's tourism board so it saved us SGD 40 per person. The park was divided into three parts with different themes. There were the Arabian, Animal Kingdom and Wild Wild Westworlds. There were wicked rides in each of them.

This wicked ride went 360 degrees in both directions for 3 rounds each. It gave me a splitting headache when it stopped for like 5 seconds at the top. There was a rush of blood to the head as we hung upside down looking at the ground.

This one was scary as I thought I would be flung off the ride into the distant horizon like Team Rocket. It's especially scary when you swing back to the ground and your legs feel like they are going to make contact with the pavement.

This ride was gentle, compared to the Solero Shots ride I took in Genting. This one brings you to the top slowly and then let you free fall back to the bottom. But it all happened so quick that I had already reached the ground just as I was preparing to scream my head off.

I met Becky for the last time as she brought me around Dong Qu, which is like Taiwan's Orchard Road. Bought a nice gray shirt with a pink laced heart for my sister there. After that, it was back to the dorm for my beauty sleep.

On the last day, we went to the novelty restaurant Modern Toilet in Ximending. The decor was pretty cool. We sat on toilet seats and dined on glass tables supported by bath tubs and sinks.

If you thought that was weird enough, we ate from bowls shaped like toilet bowls of both sitting and squatting varieties.

But you have to commend them on having both form and substance. This strawberry ice cream was the best I've ever tasted. A combination of shaved ice, soft serve and ice cream, it had an authentic sour strawberry taste not commonly found in strawberry-flavoured ice cream. They knew how to complement the dessert with various sweet treats like raisins, nata de coco jelly, peach pieces and fruity cereal.

But none of us had the guts to stomach it down when it came to the stage of looking like a real toilet bowl with real waste inside.

So we did what was natural... and wiped our mouths.

Aren't they creative to have portable cisterns to store takeaway drinks and to have retrofitted a tap onto a toilet bowl?

Remember at the beginning of the article when I said I would explain shortly why I used the word "supposed"? Well, we were supposed to go home on the 23rd of June. But my friend accidentally booked the tickets on 23rd July. Imagine how shocked we were when the check-in staff told us we had made a mistake. We had complained earlier about how we should have stayed in Taiwan for a longer period. What irony!

I could have sworn this advertisement was placed at the airport just to mock us. But luckily, army made me a better man who can handle situations well. Instead of panicking and blaming people like I would have done in the past, I got about to finding out information from the airlines and coming up with a solution.

To cut the long story short, we paid an additional SGD 450 for a return ticket and had to sleep in the airport for one night as we were short of cash and did not want to travel back to our dorm anyway.

My dear cute friend Clement Lan Zhao Lin (a.k.a Lenny Lan) slept in a meditative position, shrouded in mystery. And my friend, Chee Hao, actually celebrated his birthday sleeping overnight in an airport. Happy 23rd Birthday, Chee Hao!

That's why I will never forget this trip. It was pretty fun but what was more important was the brotherhood and bond we shared. I am honoured to have served and lived beside these nice and simple brothers for the past 1.5 years. May Batch 14 always stay the same, lame bunch of people who bring joy to my heart! You guys are always 'huan ying guan ling' to ask me out okay? Keep in touch!

2nd Row(from left to right): James(me), Ming Gen, Clement, Becky

1st Row(from left to right): Chee Hao, Xin Yong, Kah Kiat, Zhong Hao