Recently, I've had a mind-provoking chat with a Scottish colleague in the PR firm I am working in. When she knew I was deciding to stay on in the company full-time even while I was studying, she told me to reconsider.
She was concerned with how I was going to cope with my studies and work. Work always prevails over studies in importance and urgency when you're doing it full-time. You can't just disown your work responsibilities and say you need time to study when you're getting a big fat check monthly.
That hefty pay check alone is a huge enough reason that will be used frequently in your face to pile tons of neverending work on you. Slowly but surely, it will take ownership of your entire soul, mind, strength and time. Soon, you might have to decide whether school or work stays. For some people, it is work that remains the victor and they quit school thinking that their career is more important for the time being.
She was also surprised that I, like a typical Singaporean, was ready to commit to a certain job for the rest of my life without trying anything else. It's true; I just sort of gave up experimenting and trying to find something I like doing somewhere along the growing up years.
It's like I've stopped believing that I could find a dream job that I'm particularly excellent in. All I want now is a financially secure 8-to-5 job that I can cope with. Something not too difficult that will challenge my puny brain too much. A job that will allow me to live out my dream and do gigs at night.
We've all had childhood dreams of being a doctor, lawyer or an actor only to realise in the end that not all things in life are within your reach. It's just like how so few childhood sweethearts get hitched in the end. It's sweet and easy to weave lofty dreams but achieving them is another mammoth task altogether.
Maybe we should stop asking children cruel questions like 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'. Because these questions allow them to dream but deny them the rightful opportunities to live it out. Or at least we should tell children to start executing a pragmatic plan to achieve their goals.
On a funny side note, I don't think anyone ever asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. All my parents did was tell me what I wouldn't want to be in the future. A road sweeper, dishwasher or rubbish collector.
I have always been overly hopeful and enthusiastic but at this point of time, I realised life isn't as idyllic as I thought it was. You can't just have what you want, even if you work hard. And I have realised too late how important it is to think far, work hard and to venture into unknown territory.
My colleague was thinking about her life before she was 16. The only things on my mind at that age were courting girls, tackling exams and having fun. At age 16, she went around New Zealand and Australia, doing odd jobs of all sorts.
That is just not the Singaporean way; we will never allow our children to try everything out. The Singaporean way is building ourselves up with paper credentials. We would rather them establish themselves fast to get promoted quickly. What happened to a mutli-disciplinary approach to finding out where our niche and passion lies?
We think of so many factors when deciding an education or career path nowadays. Will this diploma/degree open up more job prospects or is this a limited/specific industry opportunity? What is the starting pay of the job? What is the career and salary progression?
My colleage gave me a very helpful reality check.
"Why are you so rashly committed to working full-time when you're gonna be doing that for at least 30 years? Don't close all your doors yet. It's hard to leave in the middle when you're doing something full-time."
She told me that she didn't get her first real pay check till she was 25. But while she was cash-poor, she lived a life rich in adventure. She told me how she had not seen her friends for 4 years but went back and found them doing exactly the same thing in the same place all this time.
I mean, won't they have collected dust by now? It's kind of sad if we've never truly seen and experienced how beautiful this world is before we have to leave it. Studying, working, getting married and then bearing children seem to be our only preoccupations.
I mean, life's supposed to be an adventure. When will yours begin? I don't want to die not having gone to see the wonderful sights and meet different people around the world. Rather than seeking adventure, we prefer fulfilling the status quo of a model life, as if that's such a thing.
Revolutionary Road was a film about that; a wife desperately trying to break free from ordinary, mundane and everyday life by moving to Paris. She was blindly waiting for something to happen to her life until she realised that nothing is ever going to happen by itself.
And though there seemed to be nothing stopping them from leaving, there was an unknown force binding them to stay. They had enough savings, the husband was fed up with his boring job and they weren't happy with their lives.
Then, the husband got a job promotion and the wife got pregnant. The character Kate Winslet portrayed couldn't stay put any longer. She died while trying to abort the baby herself because she didn't want it to affect their travel plans. I can understand her depression and loss of hope.
We live in a pressure cooker society, inculcated in a few erroneous Asian values, that inhibit us from being adventurous. We look at our parents' lives and settle with following in their footsteps.
It's sad foreign workers make it to our shores despite their poverty and we're stuck on this island till our death. Are we not better off in terms of paper credentials, savings and work skills that are valued everywhere?
We were not raised to be independent and to think far. That unique, truly Singaporean mentality of being so comfortable, dependent and not bothering to think for ourselves was nurtured in us from young. Our Government is so successful and wise but our generation will never be able to replicate their exploits. We're not half the men the previous generation were.This generation is in constant need of encouragement to do anything and everything. Our minds are closed, our eyes are blind and our hands are tied. One issue of August Man magazine details the degradation of Singaporean males from homo sapiens to a species known as homo spineless.
Singapore has a very unromantic climate, whereby everything's about money. So many pressures are laid upon men; we're meant to do and be everything to everyone. Carry on the family line, be the sole breadwinner and defend the nation. We need baby bonuses to make babies. All we worry about is whether we are financially stable enough to seem marriageable. Talk about making love out of nothing at all.
It is like our lives have already been planned out for us even before we were born. We just follow that plan all the way without batting an eyelid in suspicion. Have you ever wondered how things could be practically different?
It's like we've a list. Career? Check, Wife? Check, HDB Flat? Check, Car? Check, Children? Check and Early Retirement Plan? Check. And have we ever thought of what we would do after retirement? I seriously don't think 60 year old retirees go backpacking around the world, judging by the numbers who play Chinese chess, rear birds and sit at coffeeshops everyday.
I'm tired of being afraid of the obstacles ahead. Or the nudging voice in my head that says I'll disappoint my parents and be labelled 'unfillial and useless'. I am going to take baby steps by going backpacking, diving and doing all the crazy things people do.
I've been thinking of backpacking in Ireland straight after my studies, before entering the work force. I'll just busk for some real passive income (not MLM), enjoy the spectacular scenery and visit the bars to hear them croon their souls out. Irish people seem to have a knack for singing and writing songs. Just look at The Script, U2, The Corrs, Damien Rice and The Cranberries.
Dick Lee said on Singapore Idol that he didn't have a music career till he was 35. That gives me 13 years to brush up my articulation, hone my vocal control and get my songwriting groove.
I should try everything while I'm still young, single and not tied down by family. Worst comes to worse, I'll just be single with no life savings. Well, a life richly lived in poverty is still better than a life poorly lived in riches.
It's high time to give myself a chance to finally and truly experience life. Operation Ireland Go-Go-Go has commenced. Watch the video below; it's highly inspirational. It's about how one man's passion for travel caught Visa's attention. Thanks to Xin Yong for showing me this.
Members of Al Taahid (from left): Marcus (a.k.a Maverick), Zhi Hao (a.k.a Kodomut), Walter (a.k.a Waltztitus), Wee Meng (a.k.a Jay) and ME (a.k.a Faerie_Uni)
This is the first time my Ben Sherman vest looks good, for the obscene amount I spent on it.
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