Journal of James's Journey with Jesus

Friday 27th March 2004 was a day which was filled with joy, but mostly sadness. It was an emotional day which changed many lives forever, for the better or the worse. It was the day when the 'O' level results were released. I got 16 for my L1R5 though I had expected better grades. But who was I to blame since I only started working hard 3 months or so before the exams? I guess I could blame at least one person, but I'll rather let bygones be bygones. I had a form teacher who taught me additional and elementary maths who was not really suitable for the job, in terms of her attitude, teaching methods and sly nature. But it is only common that people push blame; I've encountered it so many times in my life. I guess I'll just have to be as sly as a snake and as gentle as a dove, like the Bible instructs us to be. Anyway, I felt really sad for a lot of people who didn't make it to a Junior College, failed certain subjects or didn't get the marks they deserved. I bet a lot of people are still brooding over their results and thinking about what they could have done to change the bad results. But thinking like that always results in nothing good. Productivity is lost and some people just feel like life's too hard to manage and have suicidal thoughts. I would have been like one of them had I not have God in my life. However I was really surprised that the Normal Academic students did much better than many of us in Express. It just goes to show that diligience makes up for intelligience but not always vice versa. Anyway, I'm moving on to Ngee Ann Polytechnic to further my studies in Mass Communications. I really hope I excel in the interview and the things that follow after successfully getting into the course. I guess the next three years of my life is going to be really educational and transformational. I'll finally get to dabble in my passion of writing, psychology and media mediums like films, television, radio and other forms of literature. I will also need to open up my mind to be able to learn what they're going to teach me. Going in with a closed mind will not do me any good. One thing bad about this is that I may conform to the patterns of the world but one thing good about this is that I'll be able to understand people better and use this for evangelism. Some of my close friends tell me that I'm losing friends because of my efforts to draw them to Christ and I'm aware of that. Some of my friends find me too straightforward, pushy and just too much of a dreamer that I've forgotten about reality. But I guess I don't really mind as long as they all hear the gospel and truth about this world. Afterall, ignorance is not always bliss. We all have an important choice to make, regardless of whether we choose to ignore or make that choice. I've made that choice and although there's a price to pay, I'm glad I made it. Jun Liang once told me that I would lose many of my friends one day and I was really scared of that then. But now I realize that whoever loses his life for God will find it, and whoever loves his life will lose it. And I've found this to be so true. I was once a people-pleaser and I never seemed to do anything right in anybody's eyes. Even though some people still think I don't, I'm glad God thinks I do. Well, sorry for the long entry. Just had a lot of inspiration and energy. Take care guys!