Journal of James's Journey with Jesus

There is one amazing testimony I wish to share with you this night. Something happened to me on 16th April 2004 that changed my perspective of God. I was at a school concert that night when suddenly I received a call from a secondary school friend called Nicholas. Nicholas's grandmother had been in a coma since last year but I never knew about it until I called him just a few weeks ago. I had been praying for her but it seemed that she had remained unconscious. At about 7:30pm, Nicholas called me in a state of grief and anxiety. It seemed that his grandmother was in a critical condition and might pass away soon. I felt in my Spirit that I needed to go down immediately. I had been sharing to him about God but to no avail. So I rushed down in a taxi, praying all the while that his grandmother would not die before I got to pray for her. I felt that perhaps a healing miracle from God will bring salvation to that family. I got down there and found myself in a tight spot. I asked Nicholas several times to ask his dad for permission to pray for his grandmother but all he told me was, "Just pray outside will do.". I faced a lot of frustration as I knew I had to lay hands on her and also because I knew I wasn't allowed to. After praying in the Spirit, I slowly gathered courage and I finally just kneeled down near her feet, laid my hands on her feet and prayed in the Spirit without permission. But before I could even pray for one minute, Nicholas nudged me and stopped me. What happened next was unexpected. Less than a minute after I prayed, the old lady passed away. I think the family didn't blame me as they never believed my God was their God too. I was so shocked by her death, trying to figure out why my prayers seemed to worsen the situation. But I was still filled with hope that perhaps a resurrection would occur the next time I prayed for her. Perhaps, I thought, this was God's way of showing that He really existed. So I slowly gathered courage while praying and kneeling down on the hospital floor. I stood up and slowly inched towards her before kneeling down, laying hands and praying again a second time. And just like before, I prayed for her briefly for less than 2 minutes before I was nudged again. Nothing happened. After about an hour, I went to lay hands and prayed silently without kneeling down. After I did that, the promptings stopped and I knew I had done my part. After that, I went home feeling guilty, shocked and exhausted. I was never eased from my senseless guilt until I had a talk with my shepherd Wan Ping the next day. It seemed that Pastor Daniel had prayed for some people who died too after being prayed for. The moral of this testimony is that we will never understand God, for His Ways are higher than we can ever imagine. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has conceived what God has in plan for those who love Him." Perhaps, this woman had accepted Christ in the past without the knowledge of the family and was released from her suffering when I prayed. Maybe, it was the disbelief of the family that incurred the wrath of God. I don't claim to understand His reasons but I do know that what He did was not wrong. What all Christians should do is to believe that God never makes a mistake and He will never change. The three greatest gifts are love, faith and hope. This testimony reflects the exact importance of faith in God. Father, let Your Will be done, not mine.