Journal of James's Journey with Jesus

I just had a really intimate Quiet Time with God. It's really strange for me to cry during Quiet Time when I usually don't cry for any reason. In fact, Quiet Time is the only time when I have cried out of love and not of hurt, pain or anger. And the teardrops just don't stop, they come dripping down one by one. I also realized today that reading aloud when you're meditating on the Bible works wonders to your understanding of the Word. I can finally feel the promptings. So I guess that God speaks to me through the Bible. I'm still pondering on how God speaks to me and I've some guesses. Since young, I've had often felt and remembered that something that happened was in my dreams before, even if the dreams were a few years old or vague. But I'm puzzled; how am I to harness this or even begin to understand when dreams are just dreams and when they're prophecies? And the third way I think God speaks to me is through the internal voice. But, the problem is that I cannot discern whether it is God's truth, Satan's lies or my opinions. Sometimes, I feel that God tells me things but yet hides that it was He who spoke. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps God's reason for doing that is that I'll be blessed. There is a Bible verse that says something like, "Blessed is he who believes but have not seen.". Hurray, the mission trip to Thailand is from 26 May to 4 June. I can't wait to go on my first mission trip. I just hope that we'll see miracles and signs there, for I'm lacking in faith in praying for healing and miracles. I've always doubted if my prayer is powerful. Somehow, I'll definitely need to see it to believe it. I love Nissi 3!!!